Don't wanna miss a thing!

     It's Monday. And I'm already looking forward to this weekend. Why? 1) It's my birthday on Saturday! and 2) Joe and I are going away for the weekend! Our first time away since getting married and it's possible now since he changed jobs and has weekends off! So I'm just a little excited!!!  
     But I was sitting here thinking to myself, 'Here I am already wishing for this week to fly by so I can get to next weekend and enjoy being away at the ocean.' God pricked my heart. Here I am, wishing my life away. I can get so caught up in my own life and what I'm doing that I can miss it - miss what God has for me, what He's speaking to me in His still small voice. 
     Lord, I don't want to miss a chance to say yes to You this week, in the midst of my excitement. I want to see You; I want to hear You. Let me know You more this week, in the middle of my busy life. Let me find You, in the middle of doing laundry, vacuuming, or washing dishes. I invite You to interrupt me this week. Amen.  

Through it all, God is faithful!

     Looking back over the past month and a half, God has been so good!  We've had our share of trials, too, but in the midst of them, Joe and I have prayed and trusted God to move on our behalf. God is faithful!

1) In the beginning of July, we started having water leaks from our bathroom through the floor to the kitchen ceiling. We had a hole cut out of our kitchen ceiling to reveal mold. It's been frustrating, and I must admit, I've been tempted to break down and cry and have a pity party. But I keep trusting God and believing this happened for a reason.
     As of today, the mold is gone, we still have a hole in our kitchen and we're waiting to get quotes from contractors about fixing/remodeling the bathroom to stop the water problem and trusting God for the finances without going into debt.

2) For those who didn't know, my husband Joe went to culinary school and started working as a chef after he graduated. Working in restaurants, his schedule was hectic and life apart from work was nonexistent. When we first started dating, Joe started a new job at Wegmans as a Sushi chef and moved around to several different departments within the last 2 years he's been there. 

     However, his schedule was hectic, working nights and weekends and getting a new schedule every week with varying shifts. We made it work while dating and our engagement; but when we got married and talked of starting a family, his schedule began to wear on him and our relationship. Everyday he was stressed out; he was frustrated about not being promoted (when he was the go-to guy for every department); and he dreaded going to work. The final straw was when I got an unexpected bonus at work, and then got a raise a couple weeks later. He was confused and didn't understand why nothing was happening for him. When was his break going to come?

     We talked and I told him we needed to pray and believe that God would open a door for him, either a promotion (with slightly better hours) or a new job. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I trusted God to move and God pleasantly surprised both of us. About 2 weeks later, I saw on Facebook that a friend of ours had posted an opening about a job with his company, and I called Joe to tell him about it. Immediately after Joe hung up the phone with me, this friend called Joe and told him about the opening and told him to apply for it. The opening was for a sales rep for Bosch power tools. The job offered better hours (Monday-Friday with evenings and weekends off), AND it offered more money!!  Joe was so excited and got his resume and paperwork together right away.

     During 2 weeks of interviews and waiting, we kept praying and believing that if this job was for Joe then he would get it; and if not, then God had something better in mind. He was offered the job and started the first week of August. He absolutely loves it and he enjoys going to work now! He's home in the evenings for us to have dinner together every night; with weekends off, we can plan spontaneous things to do. And with more money in each paycheck, we can pay for our bathroom repairs.  God is so good!!

#SayWhat?

     Before I started the 'Say Yes To God' online Bible study, I knew God was already preparing my heart for it. He asked me to demonstrate radical obedience and I had a big #saywhat? moment. Let me share with you.
     My husband and I were married on March 30, 2013 and we had decided that while we did want kids, we wanted to wait at least a year before trying to conceive. With that thought in mind, I started taking birth control pills. We had our plan. But God had His...
     On July 22, I was sitting at work and I took a few moments to read a blog someone had posted on Facebook about birth control from a Christian perspective. It wasn't anything I hadn't heard before, from other readings or from our pre-marital counseling, but all of a sudden, right in the middle of reading it, I felt God's presence so strongly! I almost began to weep at my desk when God impressed upon my heart, "Do you trust Me?" 
    Immediately, I was like, "Of course, God, I trust You." And He asked me again, "Do you trust Me?" He began to impress this thought upon my heart: Why am I taking birth control? So I thought about it for a moment and came to this conclusion...CONTROL! I mean, that's what its for, right? But for me, it was deeper than that; I've struggled with control issues my whole life and still do. I'm a work in progress, for sure! But I was taking birth control because I wanted to control when Joe and I have a baby because I'm scared and not ready yet. My thoughts (or excuses, rather): I have a medical condition that might cause a difficult pregnancy, and I have fears about being a bad mother that's rooted in hurtful words that were spoken over me. I just got married and I want to enjoy the married life before kids. But I felt like God was saying, "Don't you think I know that? And I know what's best for you and when you're ready."
     Immediate peace came rushing into my soul and I knew what I needed to do. I talked to my husband about it and he fully supported the decision to stop taking birth control, if that was what God had told me to do. But me and my thoughts (they get me into trouble) got to thinking, and I put it off for a couple days: I'm in Joe's sisters' wedding in April and if I stop now and get pregnant right away then I'll be due around her wedding and that's a problem, or I'll be huge in a bridesmaid dress and look just awful and be uncomfortable. (Yes, pathetic, I know!) I kept trying to justify why now just wasn't the right time. Joe told me that if God told me to do it, I needed to just do it. (Isn't that what we learned in Ch. 1 - Whatever he says do, do it?) Deep down in my heart, I KNEW I had heard what God had spoken to me and it required radical obedience. What would I choose?
     I wrote in my journal, Lord, HELP ME to trust you! I'm scared, but God, you've proven yourself faithful EVERY time and shown me you know what's best. EVERY time I have asked the Lord for direction, He has guided me and directed me in the way to go, and looking back on my life, it was the best for me. My life certainly hasn't gone the way I planned it to go. I had my time of rebellion and life MY WAY instead of GOD'S WAY. God was faithful when I wasn't; He was there when I didn't want Him; He took care of me when I depended on myself instead of Him; He forgave me when I needed it most. As I sit here and write this, with tears streaming down my face, I don't have words to say how thankful I am for God's goodness and mercy in my life. God has been so good to me, how can I not trust Him and say yes when He calls me to radical obedience? 
     I chose to say yes, to answer that call to obedience. When that fear starts to creep back into my heart, I remember the words that God spoke to me, the words that flooded my heart with peace, and they quiet my soul once again. Joe and I have given God complete control in that area; it feels good to rest in the trust that God's got it, and what will be will be, all in His time. 

#saywhat?

I Surrender - Jesus Culture

My Commitment to Say Yes to God

As I finish week one of the "Yes to God" Bible study, I want to share my personal prayer of commitment to God:

My Commitment to Say Yes to God

Lord, I surrender all. All that I am, and all that I’m not. I surrender my plans, my hopes, my dreams. I surrender my insecurities, my fears, my inadequacies. I make the choice to trust You, even when I don’t understand. In spite of my imperfect circumstances, when I am outside of my comfort zone – where You lead me, I will follow.

I will say yes to You when I am tired, when I am insecure, when I am busy, when I am fearful. Instead of selfishness, I choose to say yes to You, to give of myself to accomplish Your purposes in and through me. Whatever You say do, I will do. I simply want You to see a yes-heart in me.

“God, I want to see You. God, I want to hear You. God, I want to know You. God, I want to follow hard after You. And even before I know what I will face today, I say yes to You.”

I refuse to turn back even when things get hard.

#palms up 

A Beautiful Exchange

     I love it when I get a fresh revelation about a Scripture, especially if it's one that I've heard again and again. Today in my Bible study, one of the questions was, "Is there something you might need to let go of in order to have the freedom to say yes to God?" I was pondering this question and reading comments on the OBS blog when I came across several comments about Jeremiah 29:11. It's a popular verse, but I realized that it contained my answer.
     I could say that fear, uncertainty or even insecurity could limit my freedom to say yes to God, but I realized that a BIG issue was my need for control. Here's what I wrote in my journal:

Lord, have your way in me and give me a yes-heart, no matter what you ask of me. I surrender my plans to you today. #sayyestoGod #palmsup

In the midst of it all...

     This past month has been interesting, to say the least. But in all the chaos, God has made Himself real and given us peace. Our kitchen ceiling is still open, the bathroom is still giving us water issues, and we're no closer to getting things repaired. We've called a couple contractors for quotes, but we're still waiting for numbers. And then there's paying for it. But through it all, Joe and I have been praying and trusting God to provide, and we know He will. 
     In the midst of these house issues, Joe and I have been praying for God to open a door for Joe with his job, either a promotion to a new position or a new job in a new field. God has been opening doors for me at work and Joe was getting discouraged. His hours and schedule has also been hard on our relationship and our dream to start a family one day. We prayed and put the concern in God's hands, believing He would move on our behalf. And He did! A couple weeks ago, a friend of ours posted on Facebook that his company was hiring, so I called Joe and told him about it. A few minutes later, our friend called Joe and told him he should apply for the job. Joe got his resume together, sent it off and we kept praying that if this is what God had for Joe that God would make it happen. After several phone and Skype interviews, Joe met personally with the president of the company, and was offered the job on Friday, July 26th. This new position is a sales rep selling Bosch power tools, with a set schedule Monday-Friday (evenings and weekends off!) and better pay than his culinary position. God is so good!! Joe started his new job this past Monday, and when he left for work this morning, he said, "I want to go to work". He hasn't said that in a long time! It's a wonderful thing to see my husband happy and to see how his faith has grown in trusting God to provide for him personally.
     I also started an online Bible study through Proverbs 31 Ministries for the book, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst. This study is on point with what God is doing in my life right now. Below is the post I wrote in the comments on the Bible study blog:

This is my first online Bible study and I am so excited to do it! A couple weeks ago, I felt God speaking to my heart and preparing me for this study as he asked me to trust him with an area of my life that I really didn’t want to relinquish control. I’m sure I’m not the only woman out there with control issues! But I “prayed about it”, even though I KNOW I had clearly spoken to me already, and I decided to say Yes to God and surrendered to what He asked me to do. I’m still struggling with the fear part of it, but I remember God saying to me, “Don’t you think I know that? (that I’m afraid timing isn’t right or all the what if’s that pile up in my head) Don’t you think I care about those things? (and I know He does!) Just trust me.” Just. Trust. Me. Three little words, but oh! the meaning in those 3 little words! I know that’s what God is speaking to my heart even now as I’ve started this study and the little fears – the what if’s, or wondering what is God going to ask me to do? – keep popping into my head, I remember what He said…”Just trust me.” It’s only the beginning…#palmsup to all He has for me!

I Want To Be A Creative Counterpart!

I recently started reading a book by Linda Dillow called, "Creative Counterpart" with the subtitle "Becoming the woman, wife, and mother you've longed to be". I LOVE LOVE LOVE this book!!  The author discusses how to be the woman that God designed you to be and gives a wonderful picture of what a Christian marriage should look like, giving advice and Biblical teaching on how to be a godly wife who honors and submits (yes, I said submit!) to her husband, as God intends. Reading this book has lead me to be introspective and I want to capture my thoughts here.

For me, the idea of submission is tough. Not because I don't love my husband and want to be submissive, but it's a combination of my personality and life experiences as well as the world we live in that make the idea of submission a little confusing and difficult to fulfill.

1. Before I said 'I Do'

From the time I was born, I have been a strong-willed individual. I've always had trouble getting along with others, often having an "it's my way or the highway" kind of attitude, and exhibiting selfishness. I'm not bragging about this, but it's been a struggle for me to learn humility and I'm still learning it! I also got married a little older and had time as a single person to live my life as I pleased. I was used to doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and being somewhat independent. Being strong-willed and an independent-prone person isn't always bad, but it doesn't help when I'm trying to learn to be a submissive wife!! 

2. Our Culture

In the world we live today, it's not easy to be a Christian. It's especially not easy to be a Christian wife and to uphold a Christian marriage. Besides the fact that our spiritual enemy, Satan, seeks to destroy our marriages, we have a culture that demonstrates a worldview contrary to Biblical principles in nearly every area of our lives, and womanhood in marriage isn't excluded. Our culture teaches equality in a marriage is key, whether that's between a man and a woman, or now two men or two women. Marriage is meant to be between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN. That's God's idea and He planned it that way for a reason. Our culture promotes the idea that submission is bad and women who submit to men are idiots, with no identity and old-fashioned. It is this distorted view of submission that wreaks so much havoc on marriages today, and throws chaos and confusion into the lives of Christian women, trying to be what God designed them to be, but living in our world today that screams at us to mimic what we see on TV, Hollywood, etc. 

Reality is...

The first month of marriage was good, as we were still in the honeymoon phase. But months two and three was rough! We argued A LOT and said things that were hurtful. I definitely saw my selfishness and pride coming out in our marriage and I wasn't happy with myself. I realized that I wasn't submitting to my husband and fulfilling the role of wife that God intended for me to fulfill.  Now in month four, I realize my need for God more than ever before. I recognize my need to be totally dependent on Him EVERYDAY to help me be the woman He wants me to be; to change me to be the submissive wife that doesn't come naturally, to be the wife that Joe needs me to be so that Joe can be all that God intends him to be.  Lately, my most repeated prayer has been, "Lord, teach me to be submissive!" To some women, that might be a scary prayer, but I know that there's no other way I will learn it unless God empowers me to do it.

Consider it joy

On Monday July 1st, Joe and I woke up and noticed a brown leak spot on our kitchen drop ceiling, which means we have a bathroom leak directly above. We called our home warranty company (since we bought the house less than a year ago) and they sent out a plumber to look at the problem. When he pulled out the ceiling tile, he found white mold, and we had to have a mitigation crew come out to clean it up before he could do anymore. So our homeowners insurance was called and a crew was sent out. They completely blocked off our kitchen and set up dehumidifiers and heaters that are supposed to run for 3 days - right into Fourth of July. : ( They also set up a heater and a dehumidifier in our bathroom. Needless to say, both areas have been off limits and we've had to go to our parents' houses to eat dinner and get showers. It's been a little stressful for both of us, but I taught Sunday School to our Jr Highers this past week and our lesson was on James chapter 1 and their memory verse is "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience." (James 1:2, 3 NKJV) I know this is a test for me and we have to trust that God will see us through. I'm trying to memorize this verse along with the kids because its something I need to learn too.

Our blocked-off kitchen

Our kitchen

The exposed ceiling

Machines running in our bathroom making everything HOT!

Biology doesn't apply in my kitchen!

When I was at UMBC finishing my biology degree, we would always use Drosophila (aka fruit flies) in our lab studies, for various reasons I really don't want to get into. It was great and i loved it, but Joe and I were recently overrun with these pesky fruit flies and it's not so great. In fact it's really annoying. So I looked up home remedies for getting rid if them and I tried this one that worked! Put apple cider vinegar in a cup or jar, heat up for 10 sec and put a funnel on top, to trap the flies inside. Take the jar outside to release them. Bye bye drosophila!!

I can do it!

I did it - I joined Weight Watchers yesterday. I had joined it last fall when I was trying to lose weight before my wedding. I lost 8 pounds, before I lost my determination amongst all the other things that occupied my mind associated with wedding planning. But my sister-in-law asked me to be a bridesmaid in her April 2014 wedding and I think I'm at a place where I really want to do this for me, instead of for other people or not-so-healthy reasons. I'm ready for change and I am determined to do it this time. I have a super-supportive husband who is taking the challenge of weight loss with me, and even my doggie Molly is helping me out by motivating me to take her for walks and build some movement into my day.

A healthy breakfast parfait! Greek vanilla yogurt, frozen raspberries, and granola...yum!

Dinner: baked tilapia filet with lime juice, brown rice, and shelled edamame.

Like Mother, Like Daughter?

I learned something about myself this week: I am not my mother. My mother is a wonderful person, but I'm not her. I am me. This may seem like a no-brainer, but let me explain.

My vision of what a good wife and mother looks like comes from my own experiences with my mom. Growing up, she was a stay-at-home mom, a teacher as she home-schooled three children, a chef extraordinaire, and an amazing homemaker. She always had dinner ready and on the table when Dad got home from work and we would sit down as a family and have dinner together. She always kept the house clean and tidy, and it became ingrained in me that a happy home is a clean and organized home. Whether my mom meant to pass that on to me, that's what I got from watching my mom take care of the home. 

Now that I'm married and I have a husband and home of my own to take care of, I'm finding that these little self-expectations are arising and causing me some trouble. Especially since my married life looks different from my parents'. Joe's schedule varies every week, so dinner on the table and eating together when we get home from work every day isn't always an option. And working full-time doesn't always allow me the time to be a great cook and have a spotless house. But it's ok. I need to be a little less of a Martha personality and more of a Mary personality. I need to take the time to appreciate my husband and the time we have together, and do what I can to keep our home clean and organized. But I also need to give myself a break and if the sink piles up with dishes...there's always tomorrow. 

"Budget" is not a scary word

     As newlyweds, the topic of money has come up often in our conversation. We've heard it said that money and finances can cause many arguments and a lot of problems in a marriage, if not handled correctly. When we were engaged, we talked about how we handle money - I'm more of a saver, while Joe was more of a spender - and how we would handle it in our marriage. It was covered in our pre-marital counseling and it seemed easy enough. We made sure we could handle a mortgage payment before we bought the house. We made sure we could afford a second dog before bringing her home. And we made sure we could afford a car payment before we bought a new car. (We bought a 2011 Honda CR-V on Memorial Day, by the way, to take advantage of sale prices and end-of-month quotas).  We've had our arguments, but we've both been able to adjust to a saving-spending balance.
     We hadn't been using a budget and had enough to tithe, pay our bills, and save, while living comfortably. So we didn't think we needed to track our spending in a budget. But, boy, was I wrong! When I sat down to look at how much money we had spent in May alone, I was shocked with where it had disappeared to. It wasn't so much that it was frivolous big purchases as it was the random spending on fast food and restaurants when I didn't feel like cooking dinner, or late-night snacks; the actual amount we spent on getting a second dog; and other random things that weren't necessities, but "nice-to-have" things.
     I found free budget software online (Mint.com is amazing and offers an iPhone app for easier tracking!) and started entering our desired spending amounts to create a budget. June will be our trial month - can we do this and stick to our guns about cutting our spending?? We shall see!  I'm reading books on frugal living with interesting and easy ways to save and make the most of every penny.  I told Joe, "We can either learn to manage our money now in the early stage of our marriage, or fight about it for the rest of our lives and end up where we don't want to be financially." Our goal is to one day be debt-free and with God's help, and some discipline, it will happen.

**Please don't misread this and think that we need money, or are bad off financially in any way! God has blessed us and we are learning to manage our money to be able to pay off our debts and serve Him with our finances.**

Good golly, Miss Molly!

Joe and I both had off on Memorial Day and we spent time out of the house together, leaving the dogs home. When we returned home and kicked off our shoes, Molly proceeded to collect both pairs into her bed and guard them! Guess she didn't want us leaving her again! 

What a busy week!

I know it's been a little over a week since my last post, but I've been busy! 

• Joe and I celebrated one month of being married on April 30th. Yay!
• Joe and I both helped cook for a Ladies Brunch at our church on Saturday, May 4th.
• I planted a flower garden in our front yard on Saturday after the brunch. I was exhausted by Saturday night! Who knew gardening was so tiring?! Not me, but then that's because I've never had to start from scratch before. It looks beautiful now!
• Oh, and we got a "puppy" on May 1st. We adopted a yellow lab named Molly. She's 16 months old and FULL of energy. We are working to continue her training and transition her to our home and our Yorkie, Mr. Darcy (or Darcy as we call him). Having her has added a lot of joy but also requires a lot of time, walking her and taking her out on a leash, since she's already jumped the fence...twice. She's a beautiful dog who needed a lot of love and attention. She's certainly got it with me, Joey and Darcy!

  

  Before: just grass

  
  

  

  After: pretty in pink!

  
  

  

  After

  
  

  

  Meet Molly! Joe put a 'beret' on her to make her a French babe...this is what he does on his day off!

Proverbs 31 Woman: Plan Ahead and Don't Be Lazy

The Proverbs 31 woman...the ultimate goal of every wife, to be the woman of noble character, the one whose husband and children rise up and call her blessed. Yes, I want to be a Proverbs 31 gal, but how? Lord, help me to be the woman you want me to be.

"She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants...She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Proverbs 31:15, 27)

My husband and I share the responsibilities of cooking in our home (mainly because he is a chef and he enjoys cooking on his own time). However, I find joy in preparing delicious dishes for my husband, especially when he comes home after a long day in the kitchen cooking for his job. I don't want him to have to come home and feel like he has to cook again. But just for the record, he does cook sometimes when he gets home from work before me, because my husband knows that it means a lot to me to have a nice meal together every night. Today, as my goal is to be more of a Proverbs 31 gal, I am focusing on the cooking and food prep area of my wifely responsibilities.

Plan Ahead: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail

"She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants" (Proverbs 31:15)
The Proverbs 31 woman got up while it was still night. I bet she probably had a mental to do list running through her head and decided to get up and get started on it. She knew it was important to feed her household and knew that it required planning. I find that, for me, cooking requires thinking ahead. I do better if I spend some time meal planning, looking through recipes and coming up with some meals to make for a couple weeks. I am now working on finding recipes for meals that I can prepare ahead of time and possibly freeze, or at least prepare quickly when I get home from work. I am also striving to prepare healthier meals at the same time. Once I have a meal plan, I then make a grocery list with the items I need to buy to make those meals. I also clip coupons and pull coupons for the items that I need to buy that week. All this takes time and I've found that when I don't plan ahead, I am stressed out about what to eat and I don't cook dinner joyfully and with love. Or we end up eating out, spending money on food that isn't healthy for us. In time, I know I will get better at this and it will take me less time to plan ahead.

Don't Be Lazy: Just do it
"She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Proverbs 31:27)
The Proverbs 31 woman knew the needs of her household and made sure they were met, no matter what; she did what she had to do to make sure things were done. That takes a woman who isn't lazy and idle. There are days when I don't feel like doing anything in my home: laundry, cleaning, cooking - nothing! While rest is important, I also believe that it's too easy to let laziness overtake me when my feelings don't line up with my responsibilities. I've found that since I am a morning person, it's best for me to get up early and get going on things around the house, before I head out to work at 8am. Joe works early some days, so when he gets up at 5am, so do I. After packing him a lunch and handing him a cup of coffee on his way out the door, I get started on my to do list. I'll do laundry, put away dishes, straighten up the house, and do my Bible reading with a cup of coffee. Last week, I thought ahead and was thoroughly pleased with the results. I had planned to make homemade mac & cheese for dinner that night. So that morning, after Joe left for work, I decided to make it ahead of time so that when I came home from work, it was ready to go in the oven. It was so nice to be able to come home and have a nice dinner that required little effort before it was ready to go on the table. Now, there are mornings when I would love to go back to sleep for another hour or two before getting up and ready for work. But I know that my priority is to take care of my home and leave the evening free to spend time with my husband. For me, there are no advantages to laziness, just stress and regret over wasted and misused time.

Change is Good

 

Joe and I got married on March 30, 2013. It was a beautiful day that I will never forget. We said our vows, exchanged our rings, and joined our lives as one. Looking back over the year and half of planning and preparation for this day, I am glad it's over. But my life was forever changed that day. And being on this side of my wedding day, I couldn't be happier. It's been almost a month; everyday I am thankful for my husband and I love being married to my best friend. So how has my life changed since being married? Here's just a few thoughts...  

From Momma's House to My House...uh, Our House 
Well, I moved out of my parents house and moved in with my husband into our new home. That hasn't really been difficult - the leaving my parents part - because I was ready for this. I knew it was coming and I eagerly awaited the day when I could say that I moved out for good. I feel like a real adult now. :) But, it has been a change in moving in with my husband. For one, sleeping with someone and sharing a bed is a little weird, after sleeping alone for 27 years. It's getting better, and I love the waking up and snuggling part, but the getting to sleep I'm-tired-and-you're-in-my-space part, that's still a little difficult. But that's just it. The whole you're-in-my-space part - that's been the most difficult (and fun) part of marriage so far. There's always someone in your space. And it's not all about me anymore. It's about us. Everything we had as individuals has been brought into this marriage and is now shared...our personal space, our "privacy", our attitudes, our baggage, our ideas...everything is out there in the open. Yes, it's liberating to be so open with someone and know that they love you no matter what, but sometimes, I still want my space. We're learning how to balance time together as a couple and time apart as individuals. I don't want to lose who I am in the fact that I'm a wife. My husband doesn't want that either. We need to find a good balance, and we will, in time.  

Priorities: Sleep vs. Sink Full of Dishes?
Another thing that changed for me is that in becoming a wife I've also become a homemaker. Cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, organizing, decorating, making meal plans and grocery shopping, clipping coupons, the list goes on! And it's all things that I've never really had to do before (because I lived at home and Mom did it!) But I've had an amazing example of what it looks like (Thanks, Mom!) and so I feel prepared to rise to this challenge. So far, I feel like I've done pretty well and I'm learning what works best for me and my husband. Again, it's about balance...and priorities. Sure, I'd love to sleep an extra hour in the mornings, but I know that if I do, I'll be stressed when I get home from work because I didn't think ahead about what to make for dinner, or do that load of laundry that needs to be done, or wash that sink full of dishes. And my husband (when he's off and home in the evenings) likes me to spend quality time with him. I just can't do it all! Can I? I believe I can, if I prioritize what's important and make adjustments where necessary. I show my husband that I love him by cooking him a good meal, getting the laundry done, and keeping a clean organized home. And just for the record, my husband does cook dinner 1-2 times a week and clean the house 1-2 times a week, so I do have help from him. He really is amazing! 

I love being a wife and everyday I pray that God will help me to be a good wife, to love my husband and to respect him as I should. God is still working on me, and thank God my husband understands that I'm not perfect (yet!). I'm still becoming the woman I want to be...

Self-Discovery

Many people advise young women to discover who they are while they are single, to not define themselves by who they're dating at the time. I had lots of time as a single woman and I thought I knew myself pretty well. I mean, I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not too bad either. However, relationships have a funny way of showing you what needs to be changed in your own life. So often, we look at our partner and see what 'they' need to change.

But relationships require love to work. Not the mushy gushy love, but real love. We find a glimpse what this real love is like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7..."Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

If I examine my partner, I must look in the mirror and face the facts of myself. And when I do, I'm seeing what needs to change in my own life. Admittedly, I don't always like what I see. In order to make my relationship work, I must examine myself in the light of love. Am I truly loving my partner? The most recent trip to the mirror has revealed two major things that I need to work on.

1. I am impatient at times. I realize that now, when I see myself getting annoyed with little things that my partner does that just drive me crazy sometimes. But "love is patient" and I'm not truly loving someone if I exhibit impatience with them. Lord, teach me patience!

2. I am selfish. I want my way and most of the time I get it. That doesn't mean I'm always happy, though. Being selfish isn't always as fulfilling as you'd think it would be. But love "does not demand its own way"; so when it's 'my way or the highway' am I exhibiting love? No. It's not about me and I need to remind myself of that and be considerate of others' needs and desires.

I understand that some of these things that need to change are a direct result of being single for a while and not having to work with someone else. But it's not an excuse. God desires that we become more like Christ everyday and exhibit the fruits of the Spirit - "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). I know He's not finished with me yet and as I allow the Holy Spirit to work in me, He'll reveal what needs to change and make me more like Jesus.

Transitions

It's official. I have transitioned from being a single girl to being an engaged woman! Engaged - the word that every girl can't wait to boldly proclaim while holding out her hand for inspection. I must admit that as a single young woman, I looked forward to being married and spending my life with someone I love and who loves me. However, rarely did I consider the time in between being single and being married - the engagement. I know it's an exciting time to plan every little detail of the "perfect" wedding, to find the "perfect" dress, and celebrate the fact that the days of singleness and being the third wheel are over. It's a wonderful time in a young woman's life. But I never thought that it would be like this...The engagement is a time of transition, a time for change. And change is sometimes hard. Very hard. Going into the engagement, the young couple in love has made a big change in their relationship and decided to be more serious and exclusive. Their relationship continues to undergo changes and more intense scrutiny as they prepare themselves for matrimony. Not only are they changing as a couple, but they are changing as individuals. They are realizing that it's time to grow up, to mature and take on the additional responsibility of another person, of sharing everything with that person and elevating their well-being above your own. But perhaps the hardest transition of all is...the in-laws. Having one family is hard enough; then you get engaged and you get another family, with people who have different personalities and communication styles. This is difficult for me. It's hard learning to fit in and to love them like a family; to learn what they like and don't like; how they think (or don't think) and to try your best to understand them and pray that they understand you. I didn't think it would be like this. I didn't know what I thought it would be like, but it certainly isn't an easy road. But then again, change is hardly easy in any situation. I must remind myself that when I said "Yes!", I agreed to these changes, perhaps unknowingly, not fully understanding what I was in for. But it's official. I have transitioned to a period of ongoing change, for better or worse. Yet somehow I feel that I have a better understanding of what marriage is - growing and changing together. In the words of Robert Browning, "Grow old with me! The best is yet to be."