For me, the idea of submission is tough. Not because I don't love my husband and want to be submissive, but it's a combination of my personality and life experiences as well as the world we live in that make the idea of submission a little confusing and difficult to fulfill.
1. Before I said 'I Do'
From the time I was born, I have been a strong-willed individual. I've always had trouble getting along with others, often having an "it's my way or the highway" kind of attitude, and exhibiting selfishness. I'm not bragging about this, but it's been a struggle for me to learn humility and I'm still learning it! I also got married a little older and had time as a single person to live my life as I pleased. I was used to doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and being somewhat independent. Being strong-willed and an independent-prone person isn't always bad, but it doesn't help when I'm trying to learn to be a submissive wife!!
2. Our Culture
In the world we live today, it's not easy to be a Christian. It's especially not easy to be a Christian wife and to uphold a Christian marriage. Besides the fact that our spiritual enemy, Satan, seeks to destroy our marriages, we have a culture that demonstrates a worldview contrary to Biblical principles in nearly every area of our lives, and womanhood in marriage isn't excluded. Our culture teaches equality in a marriage is key, whether that's between a man and a woman, or now two men or two women. Marriage is meant to be between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN. That's God's idea and He planned it that way for a reason. Our culture promotes the idea that submission is bad and women who submit to men are idiots, with no identity and old-fashioned. It is this distorted view of submission that wreaks so much havoc on marriages today, and throws chaos and confusion into the lives of Christian women, trying to be what God designed them to be, but living in our world today that screams at us to mimic what we see on TV, Hollywood, etc.
Reality is...
The first month of marriage was good, as we were still in the honeymoon phase. But months two and three was rough! We argued A LOT and said things that were hurtful. I definitely saw my selfishness and pride coming out in our marriage and I wasn't happy with myself. I realized that I wasn't submitting to my husband and fulfilling the role of wife that God intended for me to fulfill. Now in month four, I realize my need for God more than ever before. I recognize my need to be totally dependent on Him EVERYDAY to help me be the woman He wants me to be; to change me to be the submissive wife that doesn't come naturally, to be the wife that Joe needs me to be so that Joe can be all that God intends him to be. Lately, my most repeated prayer has been, "Lord, teach me to be submissive!" To some women, that might be a scary prayer, but I know that there's no other way I will learn it unless God empowers me to do it.
